THE 12 THINGS EVERY HAPPY, LONG-LASTING COUPLE DOES

Maintaining a harmonious relationship is no small matter. Different needs and perspectives, changing circumstances, external factors and communication gaps can all combine to create moments of strife that threaten to derail established and cherished relationships.

Whether it’s financial pressures, family responsibilities or simple misunderstandings, managing life’s trials and tribulations together, rather than turning against each other, can make the difference between couples who stay together and those who split.

There are several telltale signs that a relationship is thriving. We spoke to three experts to get their tips on the 12 things every happy couple does.

Show appreciation

“Appreciation is the lifeblood of any healthy relationship,” says Rachel MacLynn, a chartered occupational psychologist and chief executive and founder of award-winning MacLynn professional matchmakers. “When partners consistently express gratitude – whether for grand gestures or small, everyday acts

– it builds a culture of positivity and respect. Matchmaking research shows that people who feel valued are far more likely to invest deeply back into the partnership, creating a reinforcing cycle of care and connection.”

And it is often the small things that count. “Appreciation doesn’t always have to be verbal; it can be shown through touch, a thoughtful note or simply acknowledging effort.”

Celebrate each other’s wins

In a happy relationship, your significant other should be one of your biggest cheerleaders, says Annabelle Knight, a sex and relationship expert for Lovehoney.

“It might seem like a natural thing to do if you are in a relationship, but not celebrating each other’s wins can be a sign of jealousy, which in turn could harbour resentment,” she says.

“On the other hand, a truly happy and healthy relationship means wanting the best for each other, which involves a desire to celebrate the other person’s win, regardless of your own success. Again, this doesn’t have to be a grand gesture – acknowledging and celebrating those wins can be enough.”

Share values and goals

“While chemistry creates the initial spark, it is shared values and aligned goals that sustain a long-term relationship,” says McLynn. “Values act as a compass, guiding how couples make decisions about family, lifestyle, finances and how they handle conflict.”

Shared values can also offer stability during challenging times. “When partners share a vision for the future, they reduce friction and strengthen the feeling of being part of a ‘team’. They don’t need to have identical dreams, but they should want to grow in the same direction.”

Practise forgiveness

“No one is perfect, and every couple will face moments of disappointment or hurt,” says matchmaker, relationship and life coach and founder of Perfect Fusions Matchmaking Agency, Giovanna Smith. “So forgiveness is the bridge that allows relationships to heal and move forward. Holding on to resentment only creates emotional distance.

“Forgiveness doesn’t mean excusing harmful behaviour; it means choosing to release the weight of anger so both partners can rebuild trust. When forgiveness becomes part of the relationship’s foundation, it creates resilience and a shared understanding that mistakes don’t define us, but how we grow together does.”

Spend quality time together

“In matchmaking, I often remind people that quality time isn’t about how many hours you spend together but how intentional those moments are,” says McLynn. “True quality time means being present, really listening and showing your partner they are a priority.

“The happiest couples carve out time without distractions, whether that’s through shared hobbies, date nights or simply trying something new together.”

It’s not necessary to splash lots of cash, either. “Quality time doesn’t have to be extravagant. It might be a night out where you both dress up, or just a quiet evening chatting on the sofa with a cup of tea. What matters is consistency.”

Show physical affection outside of sex

Physical intimacy is so much more than heteronormative ideas around sex, says Knight. “There is a separate debate to be had about the broader definition of sex beyond simply penetration, but in the same way that sex is not just penetration, affection and intimacy extend beyond having sex.

“Showing physical affection – for example, holding hands, cuddling or even just physical touch – demonstrates a willingness and desire to be close to the other person, without needing to reduce the physical side of the relationship to ‘just sex’. The level of affection will vary from couple to couple; for some it might be as simple as holding hands, for others it might be cuddling “

Handle conflict constructively

“Disagreements are inevitable in any relationship – it’s how we handle them that makes the difference,” says Smith. “Constructive conflict isn’t about ‘winning’, but finding a solution that honours both people.”

While it is easy for arguments to escalate, Smith argues for an approach that prioritises listening. “When couples approach disagreements with calmness, empathy and respect, it prevents resentment from building.

“Conflict can actually strengthen a bond; if handled well, it can bring clarity, encourage growth and teach you how to navigate life’s challenges together. The goal isn’t to avoid conflict, but to manage it in a way that protects the love you share.”

Dream and plan together

Having aspirations for the future gives our lives hope, purpose and direction. Without them, it can be easy to stagnate. In a relationship, shared dreams can help work towards common goals.

“Planning a life together is a clear sign of a happy couple, as it demonstrates a commitment to a shared future,” says Knight.

“Conversely, someone showing a reluctance to plan a life with their partner beyond the near-future might suggest they are not serious about the relationship and do not see it lasting in the long term.

“Dreaming about a shared future together can be scary – but if you are comfortable and happy in your relationship, it should be something that excites you both.”

Respect each other’s individuality and separate lives

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“A healthy relationship is made up of two whole people who choose to walk alongside each other, not lose themselves in the process,” says Smith. “Respecting individuality means celebrating your partner’s uniqueness, their passions, friendships and independence. It’s about knowing that love grows strongest when both partners feel free to be themselves.”

Giving each other space to explore your own passions and interests can also build trust and, paradoxically, forge connection.

“I encourage couples to balance ‘together time’ with ‘me time’, because nurturing your own identity enriches what you bring into the partnership.”

Maintain open and kind communication

Excellent communication skills are not something we are born with, but they can be developed, says Smith. Learning how to be an active listener is a great place to start.

“At the heart of every strong relationship is communication that feels safe, respectful and kind. It is not just about talking, but truly listening with openness and curiosity. When couples create a space where both voices matter, it builds trust and emotional intimacy.

“Open communication means being honest about your feelings without fear of judgement, while kindness ensures that even difficult truths are spoken with care. It is this balance that allows love to deepen and last, because both partners feel valued and understood.”

Make time for laughter and play

“Couples who laugh together tend to build stronger, more resilient connections,” McLynn says. “Humour is more than entertainment; it is a powerful relational tool. It helps partners defuse tension, manage stress, reconnect during difficult times and signals that both feel safe enough to let their guard down.

Far too often, couples become stuck in “work mode”, discussing logistics or household chores.

“Playfulness can take many forms,” says McLynn. “I could be a game of tennis or a board game, trying a fun class together such as salsa, pottery or cooking, watching a comedy, or choosing activity-based dates like karaoke or shuffleboard. What matters most is finding something that sparks joy for both partners.”

Respect boundaries

While the concept of respecting boundaries within a romantic relationship may strike some as somewhat formal, it is vital in building trust and helping both partners feel safe and valued. “Respecting boundaries is one of the most clear signs of a happy, healthy relationship,” says Knight.

“Setting boundaries is not about restricting or controlling behaviour, but about relaying what you feel comfortable with. It might be something simple, such as respecting one another’s alone time, but it might also be more complex, such as contact with an ex-partner.

“If you can’t align on boundaries, then it might be a sign that you are not compatible.”

2025-10-10T05:49:06Z